1334 - Win, Lose, Win
Everyone slept soundly and warmly as Praaven stood deep in winter. Other than an occasional blizzard here and there the winter was somewhat mild and pleasant yet they still remained indoors and huddled closely by the fire. Marissa and Kristoffer felt blessed by The Watcher as they, more than once, commented on how they didn't need to endure any frosts in the dilapidated fort they once called home merely a year back.
The family was coming together with love and joy, and even with the differences in age, appearance and especially genetics, Osuald and Marissa were now the mother and father to the children they protected at home. And with the birth of Brismar they now shared their blood through one child to which they grew eager to see what he would inherit from each parent.
Marissa felt like she had just grew past Kristoffer's most dependent years and suddenly she was thrown back into the past; the screaming gurgles from a baby felt unwelcoming early in the mornings but she couldn't neglect her babe. She let out a groan and grew a scowl across her face as she shook off the winter blanket from her body but quickly fixed it into a smile by the time she reached the crib next to her bed.
Brismar was thankfully growing to be healthy and happy, even if his cries were a little shrill on the ears, and everyone was fascinated with him. This was Kristoffer's first sibling he had to share and Bercthun couldn't remember a thing of his late brother Wuffa as he was barely a toddler when he had passed. It was a beautiful novelty and everyone wanted to spend a moment with little Brismar with each day that passed on by.
Another funny member of the family was their new pup that Byrhtnoth rescued just last year. With more months passing by it was confirmed that she refused to grow and she was no puppy, just a small and cute little canine. One morning Byrhtnoth realised they still hadn't given their new companion a name and so he suggested one, Lady, to which Kristoffer happily repeated in admiration.
One last thing to catch up on from the winter was Osuald's healing journey. The cuts and lacerations across his arms and body that he endured from his scrap with Arron had healed up well but were due to scar him for the rest of his days. His cheek, on the other hand, seemed to take longer to fade into a light scar.
He couldn't see how he looked like most days but would catch a glance of his reflection in some still water, whether in a basin or a fishing pond, and grow used to his new appearance. He was lucky to bypass any infections and made sure to thank The Watcher for their continued care.
And soon it was time to begin their work on the farm. The last remaining ice had melted away and little wildflowers had began to peek through the soggy brush and Osuald made himself busy on their family's field. Kristoffer had finally agreed to at least watch and learn what his step-father was doing but still was iffy on getting his hands dirty in the soil. Any step of acceptance was good in Osuald's books and he appreciated even just Kristoffer's company during his labouring hours.
With the roads becoming less dangerous to travel along, and with the danger of Arron's wrath under control by the king's guard, Marissa found her way to the castle walls once more. On her first trip there Osuald had accompanied her while his father watched over their mutual children and once he deemed the journey truly safe to travel he let his love roam freely whenever she pleased.
It was on her third trip that she finally decided it was time to ditch her old gown and find something more appropriate for farm life, and it was also time for a change as well as she felt that she had grown greatly in the last few years. With a pouch of Chapman gold in her hand and a short discussion with the tailor later she returned home in a darling fashion.
She was fitted into a dusty green linen skirt that had a weight to it with a long off-white off-the-shoulder dress underneath. The cuffs and collars of this undergarment peeked out from her new leather corset which bound her torso tightly with a long strip of cow's hide. The finishing touch was her green head covering, made from the same material as her skirt, which was wrapped uniquely at the back and kept her hair out of her face. Although she was finally recognised as a divorced woman by the church she had not yet remarried to Osuald but wore the covering out of respect for her man, to show the world that she was happily taken and wasn't seeking out any other company.
Once Marissa was home from town and Osuald had completed his farming work for the day they found themselves upstairs caring for their babes. Marissa had just finished breastfeeding little Brismar and Osuald was having some fun with Bercthun as he tickled him before lifting him and spinning him round and round, the contagious giggles of joy erupting from his son. Marissa lay her newborn into the crib next to the bed and heard Byrhtnoth climb up the ladder looking for Kristoffer and Bercthun to feed them dinner. Osuald handed his son to his father and finally lay eyes on his beloved.
Marissa turned away from the crib and met Osuald's gaze and noticed his surprised expression. His eyes wandered from her head to her toes and back up and the most genuine smile of admiration grew across his face. His paramour had finally caught on that he was appreciating her new appearance and let out a sound of realisation before smoothly spinning around and letting him see every angle of her newly purchased dress.
Osuald's legs moved on their own and he outstretched his arms in a gesture of presentation, his hands changing elevation as he silently thought,
How can such tremendous beauty be standing before me?
Before he could think another thought Marissa spoke up as he finally stood closely before her,
"Are you liking the new dress the tailor in Praaven fashioned for me?" Osuald slowly brought his arms to wrap tightly around her waist and he placed his chin on her shoulder. Marissa smiled as he embraced her but was taken aback by the gesture, late to land her hands on his neck, listening to him lowly say,
"I had to check the quality of the fabric you are wearing. It is simply splendid." He smiled in a cheeky way as he hid his face in her ginger hair. "My, oh my, how this new corset hugs your body..."
It was pleasant to have this time alone, they had both been so occupied with their children it had been quite a while since they shared an intimate moment. Marissa closed her eyes for a minute and indulged in Osuald's tender contact, his hands tightening and gliding across her back and hips before eventually pulling away.
Osuald feasted his sight onto a relaxed Marissa, her eyes heavy from his petting and softly looking at him. He raised his right hand to graze her cheek and she leaned into it immediately. It was clear that she didn't want for his affections to end and so Osuald took it a step further. He shot a glance at Brismar and saw that he did not stir from his sleep, rhythmically making little breaths and keeping his father's heart at peace, and engaged with his next plan.
CW: brief description of sex.
Osuald's hand gently glid down Marissa's face and down her neck, coming to tracing the curve of her left breast where she finally let out a sound of pleasure. Her beau bit his lip before finding his fingers pinch one string of her corset and release the tension it had been maintaining. Marissa filled her lungs with freedom and felt her breath catch in her throat as her blood flowed eagerly down into the center of her pelvis.
With this brewing sensation she took the lead in shedding her clothing further, loosening her skirt for it to fall on the ground below her, where Osuald responded with a lustful growl. Although a tunic still concealed his love's figure he was mesmerised how her body could still look so untouched by two pregnancies. Her youth and vigour simply made his natural instinct take over and so he pushed himself onto the redhead that posed herself in a salacious manner.
It wasn't difficult to find themselves quickly undressed yet they kept on their tunics out of a timid fear of being walked in on. The blanket creased in varying angles underneath them and especially bunched up below Marissa's arched back, raising her pelvis to accommodate a more fulfilling experience.
The second Osuald reached his height of arousal and pursued the final thrust they heard a gargling cry forthcoming. The young parents knew what the beginning of this cry entailed and the father couldn't help but drop his head to sink into the blanket and pillow behind Marissa. She gathered herself as quickly as she could, finding an uncomfortable trickle wet her legs once she was upright, and found herself leaning over Brismar's crib.
CW over.
"Well, that was perfectly timed, was it not?" she jested as she raised her babe out of his cot and into her arms. "It seems Brismar has soiled himself, I must get him cleaned."
"Worry not, my love," assured Osuald, fastening his trousers and tucking in his tunic into his waist. Marissa didn't even hear him stand up so suddenly and watched him get dressed as she rocked Brismar to try calm him. Osuald continued,
"Let me wash him up and you get dressed and send yourself to have some dinner. I'm sure you feel famished after our... activity."
He gently accepted his baby son into his rugged arms and Marissa kissed her partner on the cheek as a thank you. They went their separate ways and the girl pondered if their long awaited exchange will surmount into anything significant... how did she really feel about the possibility of bearing child for the third time? This was a question she would have to come back to when she found herself in solitude once more.
With late spring came heavy rain. It wasn't uncommon for Praaven to endure downpours which created puddles and temporary ponds across grassy fields but it didn't make it any more pleasant to be outside when it was wet. Poor Osuald had no choice in that regard as tending to his crops was his livelihood, so was fishing but with his children being so young and his father getting older he wanted to be more present at home. The funds allowed it and so it came to be that way.
On such rainy days the Chapmans found entertainment at the domino table. Byrhtnoth was no expert at the game but it delighted him to pass on the rules and strategy onto the younger generation and found himself giving hints and minor lessons to Kristoffer. He was aware each day that the ginger boy was not bound to him by blood but it was difficult to not be proud of him and call him his grandson when he showed brilliance in logic and strategy.
Marissa would often join the boys when she was done with her chores and when Brismar's needs were taken care of. Sometimes she simply observed and other times she was challenged by them in the game of deduction. It was a pleasure to be so accepted by Osuald's father and feel comfortable and relaxed in his presence and it was evident to her that he had a lot of love and care towards her. These feelings remained until one day they didn't...
There had been a few more nightly visits from Osuald that resulted in a romp in the bedroom so it wasn't particularly shocking when her stomach began to stir at one of these dominos games. She politely excused herself and found herself quickly hunched over the chamber pot upstairs in her bedroom. She couldn't help but have a moment of doubt if her sickness meant that she was with child after the first happening but after the second, third, and eventually fourth bout of morning sickness, and feeling out a smooth protuberance in her abdomen, it was highly likely she was growing a life inside of her.
Byrhtnoth found Marissa to be highly pale and clammy after breakfast and had a gut feeling as to why she was experiencing such symptoms but kept patient and lending the young girl the chance to announce it in her own time. He gave her a knowing smile and offered to do her chores for the day, taking over her duty of scrubbing dirty clothes in the washbasin and sweeping the floors in the downstairs rooms. As she accepted his help she went to rest a moment on her bed, occasionally glancing towards a sleeping Brismar in his crib to the left of her.
Although she was excited to announce the news to her true partner Osuald she wanted to continue maintaining a tight and unbreakable trust with her firstborn and so he came to be the first to find out about his upcoming sibling. One night after helping Kristoffer with a bath she got her boy all nicely dressed for the evening before bed. She let him know that she had some news to share with him and knelt down on her knees to come closer to his eye level. She placed a hand onto her small belly and began to explain,
"I know you are a very intelligent boy, Kris, and I am sure you have noticed me leave the table on many occasions as we played dominos." Kristoffer nodded and waited for her to continue. "Well... why do you think I was doing that?"
"To check up on Brismar?" Oh, the simplicity of children. She smiled at his darling assumption and finally came out with the news.
"Not exactly, love. I was feeling unwell those times and the reason for that was because... I'm going to have a baby!"
"A-again?" blurted out Kristoffer but not with annoyance, it was surprise that pierced his voice. "You just had a baby!"
"Well, enough time has passed and it seems The Watcher was ready to bestow another into out family." She attempted to study his face and find any positivity or negativity in his expression. The boy glanced down towards her belly and blinked several times, his mind piecing everything together.
"So?" spoke Marissa in an uptalk, "Are you happy?" Her question was met with a swinging hug from her son and she caught him on time without stumbling back in her place.
"Of course I am, mother. I'm going to have another baby brother to play with!" spoke Kristoffer into his mother's hair.
"You may also have a baby sister instead, don't forget that!"
"I want a brother so it will be a brother," asserted the boy but they both knew the sex of a child was uncontrollable. He finally pulled away and Marissa grew worried when she watched the boy's expression drop into one of concern.
"Will my father try to take the baby away again?" he asked in a hushed tone, afraid that if he said it too loud it may just come true. The mother's heart felt like it was shattered slightly, the knowledge that her son still bears relative trauma to what happened just last year was something she couldn't help but feel guilty about but she pushed past her feelings and took hold of Kristoffer's hands in hers.
"Nobody will let that happen," she stated with confidence. "Osuald, the King's guard and I will never let that dangerous man get anywhere close to our family again. I promise you we are safe from his grasp." She did her best to believe her own words and she felt at peace when she saw her son begin to smile once more.
Marissa concluded the moment by rising to her height and straightening her back. Kristoffer suddenly pressed an ear against his mother's petite belly and waited for some sort of reaction from the developing baby inside but all he heard was the lightly erupting laughter coming from within Marissa.
"Oh, Kristoffer. The baby is still too little to say hello to you! Give it a few more months and you can feel it give you a kick."
Kristoffer pulled away in slight embarrassment but decided he would try be patient about it. It was only a week later that he asked his mother again if the baby was ready to say hello to him yet and the adults of the house found his enthusiasm amusing.
That same eager week over a friendly game of dominos Kristoffer couldn't contain his excitement and let it slip that Marissa was pregnant. Byrhtnoth was quite aware but still raised his eyebrows in the best form of astonishment.
"Really?" he breathed out and directed his gaze to Marissa who felt betrayed by her firstborn. She hissed Kristoffer's name and the boy began to giggle, delighted with the fact that he knew before anyone else did.
"Don't you dare say it to Osuald now, he should hear the news from me." It was almost sounding like a competition between the parent and child but Byrhtnoth quickly diffused the situation by placing a hand on Kristoffer's and speaking in Marissa's direction.
"Go tell him now, I'll distract this little rascal," his grip tightened around the eight year old's wrist and Kristoffer began to delightfully squeal as he tried to pull himself free. Marissa chuckled while shaking her head and stood up to find her partner, leaving behind her son who was now being profusely tickled in an attempt to stop him from running after Osuald himself and ruining a cherished surprise.
Osuald could overhear the child's laughter below him and wondered what could be so hilarious but put his focus in spending some quality time with his youngest. Brismar was now approximately six months old and could manage more than a gargle, opting to voice out many vowels and clicks as he tried to socialise with his father. Once adequately tired out he placed him back into the small cot and found himself taking the ladder downstairs.
He quickly bumped into Marissa who shared that she was looking for him and saw Kristoffer be tickled by his father. The young boy noticed his step-father and tried to blurt something out through his laughter but was unsuccessful.
"Should I even ask?" humoured Osuald to which he was met with a denying headshake.
"Come with me to the other home, I want to show you something," said Marissa with glee in her face and she pulled Osuald away into the large farmhouse.
It wasn't often that the family would have something to reveal to one another in such a way and when they did it would be something very significant. His mind wandered to what it may be but stopped his thoughts quickly and let Marissa reveal the truth to him.
Once they stood before the roaring fire in the kitchen, indulging in the warmth that radiated from within, Marissa's body was giddy with excitement. She was unsure if this excitement was inherited from her son's moment of goofiness but she accepted it anyhow.
"I said I wanted to show you something but... it's more of a I wanted to tell you something," she explained with a voice shaking from passive laughter.
"Well go on, spit it out!" urged Osuald, also becoming infected with the giddy energy.
"I'm pregnant again!" finally revealed Marissa. Her voice finally found a smoothness to it and her laughter concentrated into her cheeks, tightening to form a genuine smile.
Any news that Osuald's family was to expand and welcome in a new life was always an immensely positive one and so he shared his love's smile and enveloped Marissa into a tight hug, but made sure to not put any pressure on her abdomen. He found himself at the same thought that he always had when he gave in to deep feelings of love,
How on earth did I get so lucky?
He placed her back down and heard the scurry of footsteps join them in the kitchen. They both turned to find their eldest standing in the archway between the kitchen and stable in a tired hunch.
"Mother is pregnant!" shouted Kristoffer in a rushed huff, still gathering his breath after being relentlessly tickled by Byrhtnoth who joined the family only seconds after. The old man placed a hand on the boy who flinched from the contact.
"You just had to say it after all of that, didn't you?" Byrhtnoth looked at the pair near the fire in a 'kids will be kids' type of look and Marissa simply met her son back with the same energy.
"I beat you to it!" she said before playfully sticking her tongue out at Kristoffer. He simply deeply sighed back at her,
"Well, I tried." It was the perfect time for everybody to meet together and get seated by the table for dinner and that is exactly what they did. They called over Bercthun who had been playing upstairs in the timber home and invited him to stew and chats at the table. Dinner was well received and the parents found themselves in different parts of the Chapman land before retreating for the night.
Marissa found time to thank Byrhtnoth for taking control of Kristoffer's energy and cheeky behaviour before he went to bed. She expressed how important it is to be the first to tell Osuald that they are expecting another child and the elder man began to wave off her explanation.
"Don't worry for a second Marissa, I completely understand your reasoning and you're very right for wanting it to be that way. It was a pleasure to attempt to control and also participate in childish games such as what Kristoffer put me up to; it only makes me excited further for when my other grandchildren will grow to be his age."
Marissa smiled and pondered at the thought of Byrhtnoth playing with many of her children and it almost brought a tear to her eye. She simply just said thank you once more and bid him a genuine goodnight.
Osuald on the other hand wanted to have a conversation with Kristoffer before bed and hear it himself that the boy was excited to have yet another sibling. He found the young boy playing with and cuddling a scrappy stuffed bear next to his bed, keeping himself amused while the adults of the house cleaned up after dinner. He set the toy down once Osuald made his presence known and they stood before one another. After their brief chit chat about dinner, praising Marissa's cooking as usual, the father got down to business,
"You'll be a brother to another sibling very soon," stated Osuald with honour in his voice. "Are you excited to have another baby in the home?"
"A little bit," answered back Kristoffer nonchalantly. "I wonder if it'll be a boy or a girl and if the baby will have red hair like mother!" That was a decent wish to have for Brismar seemingly inherited black hair from an ancestor, quite different to his or Marissa's hair tone.
"I'm very glad to hear that this is a positive for you," smiled Osuald and pat his son on the shoulder. He had gotten used to calling Kristoffer his son after a full year of living together and with the transparency of Arron's nature last year he was more than willing to take over the fatherly role for the chap. He squeezed the small shoulder lovingly before pulling away.
"Do you have any questions about any of this? You can ask me, man to man." Osuald sprinkled in that last phrase to appease the boy and see if he would reveal any further truths. Kristoffer pondered for a moment, scrunching his lips in thought to which he shrugged,
"How did mother get pregnant so soon?"
In fairness, it's a good question to ask. Osuald didn't have a definitive answer so he just fell onto his second best,
"I can't be sure but it's likely that The Watcher felt us ready enough to welcome in another baby into our growing family." As he finished speaking he watched Kristoffer's expression turn into one of strong belief, assured and content.
"That's exactly what mother said, too! It must be true!"
"Mother knows best," off-handedly said Osuald. "It's time for bed anyhow, get yourself settled and asleep very soon. I'll return to my bedroom once I check how baby Brismar is doing with your mother, don't wait for me!"
He disappeared down the ladder, shuffled past Byrhtnoth's room filled with snores, briefly popped outside and back up a ladder to find Marissa relaxing on her bed while she gazed towards the small crib next to it. She gestured for Osuald to approach quietly and he did just that, softening his footsteps before he planted himself on the other side of the mattress.
"Finally put him to sleep," whispered Marissa, "he seemed far more energetic than usual and refused to go down."
"It's been an energetic day," analysed Osuald in a low tone. He glanced at his love, her body in ease yet her belly ever-growing, and invited himself to lay in a similar pose to her. He fluffed the chicken feather pillow and placed it comfortably beneath his shoulder blades and turned to face Marissa, their faces only inches away from each other.
"And what a day it was," sighed Marissa quietly. "Is it only going to get more hectic from here?" She gestured to her pregnancy bump as she asked and Osuald couldn't resist the nod that came upon him.
"From the stories I have heard from my father from when they had five children alive at one time... hectic is to say the least." They quietly chuckled together and glanced over at Brismar once more, relishing in the silence that enveloped them in the late night.
"It sure does keep life interesting, doesn't it?" concluded Marissa, looking back at Osuald again with the purest look of contentment.
"We'll just have to find out and see, won't we?" They moved on their own, no gesture was needed for the cuddle that followed. In that silence they held hands and rested upon each other's shoulders, breathing calmly and steadily. An owl was heard hooting in the distance but the pair did not stir.
Marissa stroked her thumb against Osuald's hard-wearing fingers and the man closed his eyes to fully immerse himself in the sensory experience. He made sure not to fall asleep in that serenity though he felt himself drift between a state of alertness and meditation. Life finally felt peaceful to them, even amongst the childish chaos that would only grow to be more frequent with each babe. That type of chaos was well welcomed.
The farther Marissa's pregnancy developed the more healed Osuald's facial scar got. It would forever stand out on his face and he had now come to terms with that fact but it was a compliment each month when Marissa or his father would comment on its progress.
And most days he had no time to worry about the status of the skin on his face as he was up to his neck in farm work. The once torrential downpours had reduced to an occasional drizzle and there was much work to do on the crops. Soon came the initial harvests of summer, bundles of carrots and onions and the intermittent handfuls of raspberries from the bushes lining the farm perimeter. Breakfast and dinner options opened up in variety once more and the Chapmans brought gratification to the table the warmer it became.
As was with her term with Brismar Marissa found herself easing off on some chores and physical labour the larger her belly grew. In her last trimester Byrhtnoth happily took on more chores, particularly the ones where it required ample bending and lifting. He did not share it with the pregnant mother but he did this with his own discomfort; aches from mild arthritis and elder pains made him move at a slower pace but he got his work done nonetheless.
She still stayed highly attentive to her children's needs and as Brismar grew to be less fussy she realised how wrought with regret about how little time she socialised with Bercthun. She questioned if it was due to the blonde haired boy sharing no blood relation to her but couldn't stomach such a statement and instead extended her love towards him.
Bercthun continued to receive more attention from the rest of his family, particularly from Kristoffer who often invited him to play at the dollhouse when they weren't seated at the domino table. He found it easier to play with his nonrelative brother as he grew to five years old due to Bercthun harnessing the power to speak and describe their make believe moments.
Before they knew it summer began to grow to a close and the leaves on the tips of the trees across Praaven converted into golden shades of yellow and orange. Osuald began to focus his energy on harvesting the fruits of his labour, quite literally, instead of weeding and trimming the crops. His father would lend a hand when the weather was just right and it instilled a sense of nostalgia between the father-son duo.
The adults strategically stored some of their produce to last the next few seasons and Osuald prepared to sell the rest at the Praaven markets. He saddled up on Sylvian and galloped down the dusty paths, admiring the surrounding nature slowly lose its lively green hues as he whizzed past with utter speed.
It had been a decent while since he had visited the town center, only trotting through it briefly when he was doing his quarterly deliveries of produce to the royal family, and it was comforting to see familar faces alive and well. He was not quite aware and conscious of the tragedies that struck families during the great famine of 1315 as he was only just a baby then but he felt thankful to have not seen any hungry faces in his time as an adult thus far. Anything can happen in this forsaken world but today people were healthy and well.
He handled his chores and duties successfully in town and hurried on home; with autumn came days that only grew shorter and it wouldn't be wise to stay out past sundown. The quicker the sun rested behind the horizion the sooner Marissa's belly was ready to pop until one day the labours began.
Byrhtnoth had been taking a nap as the shorter days and colder mornings made him feel sleepier than ever before. Only after a thirty minute rest he overheard a flurry of loud noises coming from the other home, louder than always and sounds that did not sound exactly pleasant.
He rose from his bed the quickest he could and followed the source of the commotion to find Marissa hunching over from labour pains while Osuald attempted to stay calm as he craddled an upset Bercthun. He deduced that Marissa's labour began as she was caring for his grandson and the little boy got spooked by her noises.
They all sprung right into action and brought all of the materials and supplies needed for a safe and quick birth. Osuald had accompanied Marissa in her birth previously and witnessed just how strong and capable she was of bringing life into the world so he had little worries that she would fail again. He showed his nurturing fatherly nature by minding their three children in the large farmhouse and put trust in his father to aid Marissa in delivering another healthy baby.
Marissa's labour was the quickest she had experienced thus far, lasting only a full five hours since her water break, and Byrhtnoth gently scooped her newborn into his clean hands with one last push from the mother. She breathed out an exasperated yet proud sigh and relished in the powerful cries the baby echoed inside the room she lay in. She looked towards the old man and awaited the verdict, watching him snip the umbilical cord and lightly clean the baby with a damp cloth.
"You now have a baby girl, Marissa," he said with delight. As he lay down linen rag soiled with specks of amniotic fluid and blood he guided the newborn in his hands into a tired Marissa's and she gazed down graciously at her baby girl. She pondered which name would suit her best, she had come to choose a few in her mind that piqued her interest, and decided on one that bears the meaning of battle and strength.
Once Byrhtnoth announced the news to the rest of the family of the birth they all gathered by Marissa's bedside and all eagerly leaned towards her, waiting for the grand reveal of the girl's chosen name.
"I have decided she shall be called Gunnell," she said with a drained tone. The children settled with this new information with quick acceptance and without a second thought while Osuald and Byrhtnoth looked at each other with shared understanding.
Byrhtnoth recalled how one of the folk tales he used to tell Osuald and Lavina, especially during the snowiest winter days, when they were young children was of an English soldier called Hawkes who experienced unrequited love towards an Irish celtic warrior woman called Gunnell. He remembered how the tale centered on Hawkes' awe in how strong, independent and foolhardy Gunnell appeared to him and wished for their new daughter to embody all of the positive traits he spoke of.
Osuald ushered his children away soon to give his love some rest after a rigorous ordeal and so Marissa was left to care for and dote over her girl, fantasising about how when she would be older she would brush and braid her hair and wondered if she would inherit her auburn locks or her father's blonde streaks. What snapped her out of her daydream was Osuald's voice piercing through her thoughts and she peered up to see him approach her with a warm bowl of stew.
"Replenish your energy, love," he softly spoke. "Let me hold my baby girl while you eat."
The couple sat together and relished in the calm moments before they would naturally be plunged into sleepless nights and screeching cries once more. Marissa chewed quietly as she admired the scene before her: a handsome, blonde man who was now the father to two of her children rocking his new baby gently and looked fascinated when little Gunnell held tightly onto his finger.
CW: infant death, mourning, depression.
But their fascination and bliss ended far too soon for when Marissa awoke only three days after Gunnell's birth she peered into the crib next to the bed where the baby lay and noticed her motionless. She threw herself out of bed and kneeled on the wooden floor, her bare knees scratching against the unprocessed grain, and extended her shaking hands to try and wake Gunnell.
To no avail, there was not a breath left inside of her and her skin was pale and cold to the touch. Her little body looked even smaller as she lay stiffly in the cot and Marissa's colour drained from her face when her realisation set in. Whimpers began to emerge from her throat and she attempted to stop them from escaping, placing her trembling hands onto her mouth.
Her eyes grew misty, Gunnell's body blurring and shifting in her vision from the growing teardrops sitting upon her bottom eyelid. She finally blinked and her nightgown absorbed her fallen tears, so heavy that they left no streaks on her cheeks, only falling straight down and plummeting down.
She sat there and silently cried for the morning while the men and boys in the other building began their day, starting with a hearty breakfast porridge. They were all chipper at first until Kristoffer asked why his mother hadn't come down to eat yet. Osuald urged him to go seek her out to which he did, pushing in his stool where he sat and calmly walking outside and to the timber home.
After looking into the downstairs rooms and finding no trace of Marissa he called out "mother?" up the ladder and received no response. Intuition sparked in his mind and he began feeling unease in the pit of his stomach. He called out once more, a smaller "mother?", and decided to finally alert the other adults and tell them what he sensed. Fear of the unknown stopped him from venturing up the ladder himself and so he sought help from the mature members of the family.
He took large strides with his short legs and stormed back into the kitchen where Osuald looked back up at him with mild concern. He swallowed his mouthful as he analysed the look on Kristoffer's face and finally asked,
"Is something wrong?" He began to doubt himself slightly, the day started off so fine, how could he be missing some sort of cue?
"Mother isn't coming downstairs..." shared Kristoffer, his eyebrows slowly furrowing as he spoke. Osuald did not give it another beat and slammed his spoon down in urgency and began walking towards the second home.
"Stay with Byrhtnoth, I will go check on her," he commanded before disappearing out of the home. Kristoffer watched him leave before slowly turning to look at Byrhtnoth who was helping Bercthun eat with a wooden spoon. He used his other hand to motion and pat onto a stool next to him, beckoning Kristoffer over with a smile.
"I'm sure it's nothing to worry about, my boy. Your mother has been busy taking care of your little sister so she may just be sleeping in. Let's wait for them to come down together." His voice was nice and reassuring but something deep down inside of Kristoffer still thought otherwise. Byrhtnoth could see the boy's unease in his face and felt some worry stir in his stomach also.
As this discussion was happening Osuald found himself skipping steps on the ladder and stumbling into the upstairs of the wooden home. He stopped in his tracks once he finally saw Marissa, her head resting on her arms which rested on the side of the crib where Gunnell lay. Brismar made himself known with a "dada?", sitting up in his crib in the room where he stood, rocking the cot slightly from his movements.
Before Osuald brought himself to sit down next to his love and confront what has happened with Gunnell, still unaware if it was something as serious as death, he lifted Brismar from his crib and gave him a tight hug before placing him down on the floor next to all of the toys on the rug. He pat his dark hair and left him behind, finally coming to Marissa's side in the other room.
The sight of his one and only daughter lifeless finally presented to him in the small cot. The grieving mother failed to say a single word, she did not shake with tears either, she only kept her face hidden away in grief. Osuald reached out towards his daughter and flinched when he felt the unfortunately familiar icy feeling. Traumatic flashbacks of Lana's last moments in his arms made him wince but once he opened his eyes up again it was just a baby before him. A baby... what could they have done to make The Watcher punish them so?
Marissa felt Osuald's hand rest on her upper back which prompted her to fill her lungs with a deep breath. She breathed shakily and finally lifted her head; it felt heavier than ever before and her eyes stung from uncounted hours of crying. Osuald's expression was pained and heartbroken but he still pulled his lips into a sorrowful smile in a feeble attempt to comfort his love.
"Marissa..." exhaled Osuald. Marissa's lip trembled at him speaking her name, what a comforting voice he had, so much so that it made her crumble into pieces. He pulled her towards his chest and let her break down and becoming the rock she needed in this loss. He stared at his lifeless daughter as they grieved and silently made peace with the reality before him. It wasn't the first time he had to bury a young child but it wasn't any easier to understand this loss.
After Marissa felt like her tears had run dry she pulled away and looked at the wet spot on Osuald's chest. "I don't want to go downstairs," she croaked quietly.
"You're not expected to," confirmed Osuald, rubbing her arm. "I'll go tell them the news, you stay here as long as you need... do you at least want some breakfast?"
Marissa shook her head in response and attempted to stand up. Osuald supported her weight and brought her to where she wanted to be which was the bed, the blanket scrunched up and tossed to the side where she landed. He kissed her forehead and glanced one more time towards Gunnell before making his way back to the large farmhouse.
Once Osuald returned to the kitchen Kristoffer leapt from the stool he sat on next to Byrhtnoth and quickly asked,
"Is mother alright?!"
"She's... fine," stuttered Osuald, "but Gunnell...." Byrhtnoth rose from his chair also and decided to start cleaning the table. Kristoffer looked around in confusion but was pulled away by his stepfather into Byrhtnoth's small room. Along with Bercthun he sat on the lumpy bed and watched as Osuald squatted down in front of them, getting to their eye level.
"Boys... I have to tell you something sad," began Osuald with a gentle tone. "Your new baby sister, Gunnell, did not wake up this morning." He knew that this description would not be enough to make his children understand but that is what he got when he took a gentle approach. He continued,
"The sad thing about that is that she will not wake up anymore."
"Gunnell... died?" asked Kristoffer, finding it impossibly difficult to come to terms with such a gruesome fact.
"Yes, she has died," sighed Osuald. "The Watcher decided to take her away from us."
"But didn't The Watcher decide that we should have another baby?!" retorted Kristoffer, growing angrier at what seemed to be directed at their god. Bercthun sat with his mouth slightly agape and watched the conversation ping pong between the two family members.
"The Watcher works in mysterious ways and has unconventional plans for us all," attempted to explain Osuald. "I can never tell you exactly what they're thinking and why they decide certain things... we just have to live with these facts and continue living."
As he finished explaining the meaning of life and death Kristoffer jumped from the bed and stormed up the ladder and to his bed. Bercthun suddenly spoke up and asked,
"What will happen to Gunnell?"
"We will give her a proper burial as soon as we can and carry her memory in our hearts. Will you remember her for the rest of your life, Bercthun?" Osuald was now holding his son's hand and trying to make this the least distressing memory in the boy's life so far. Bercthun nodded enthusiastically before excusing him, asking if he could ask his grandfather if he needed help in the kitchen.
Osuald tried his best to console Kristoffer and calm him down but the redheaded boy couldn't stop stewing in his anger. He hid himself further under the covers but this did not stop the father from trying to converse with him, even if it mostly felt like he was talking at a wall.
In the time that Osuald spent with Kristoffer upstairs Marissa finally showed herself in the kitchen. Her stomach audibly grumbled when she sat at the table and Byrhtnoth served her a portion of porridge without a word or question. She silently accepted his attentive gesture and ate slowly, small spoonfuls and thorough chewing ahead of her.
Once she was at her last few bites she placed her spoon down and glared at the remnants of the porridge. Without realising she began to scowl and boil with anger towards the happenings of this morning. It was clear where Kristoffer was finding his anger, it seemed hereditary to find resentment when a tragic situation occured within the family but the Chapmans knew better than to stop someone from feeling a certain emotion.
Her scowl only faded once Byrhtnoth's hand came into Marissa's vision as he grabbed the bowl before her to take and wash after her meal. She looked up at him, her expression still burned into her face, but quickly softened for she did not feel anger towards the old man. It came from within and it was easy to radiate onto others but Marissa made sure to be a bigger person than what she was presenting herself to be and turn it into a different emotion.
She excused herself to go get dressed out of her nightgown, beginning her process through the five stages of grief, and found herself wrought with the pain of loss after seeing her lifeless child yet again. When she reemerged in the kitchen, Byrhtnoth still tending to various chores in that room, her lips formed into a pout.
"How are you doing, pet?" finally spoke up Byrhtnoth with genuine sympathy in his voice.
"Terrible," spat out Marissa, putting all of her breath into that single word. She hiccupped some tears, how was there any more moisture left in her eyes? Byrhtnoth hurried over to hold the poor grieving mother, a young daughter in Byrhtnoth's eyes, and embraced her lovingly.
He held her tightly as if she was his own flesh and blood and he empathised in the loss she was bearing deep in her heart. She coughed out a few tears but stopped herself early; she had grown tired of crying by today. As she wiped her stray tears away Osuald and Kristoffer made their presence known in the kitchen and the boy ran to hug his mother. There was a long road of grieving ahead of them, this was the first baby Marissa ever had to bury.
CW over.
A concise and intimate burial took place for Gunnell and they lay her in a neighbouring plot not far from Lana, Osuald's late wife. It felt wrong to lay his daughter next to a mother which was not hers but he also did not want for her to be lonely for the next foreseeable future.
They all made a prayer to The Watcher that day to experience no more deaths in their family for the rest of the decade. Whether their prayers fell onto deaf ears or they were taken into account they would never know for sure but their grieving for Gunnell was cut short as some milestones came to be celebrated.
Byrhtnoth continued to love Marissa as if she was his own daughter and stood by her side in the mornings when the world felt like it was crashing down on her. He fed her appropriately and distracted her mind with pleasant discussions as he often made her bed while she fed and cared for Brismar.
Bercthun's fifth birthday was coming by quickly and in true Chapman fashion they felt it right to celebrate and recognise this achievement with cake and presents. They kept this occasion limited to immediate family also and helped the little boy blow out his candles with Byrhtnoth raising him into his arms and leaning him over the little flames.
With every fifth birthday the honoree donned new fashions and for Bercthun this meant a stylish green jumpsuit with a short fur cape that sat heavily on his shoulders. Following in the trend of Kristoffer wearing a pointed hat they found Bercthun wanted a wearable for his head also so they custom tailored a coif from soft leather and he covered his short blond locks from the sun or cold. He was utterly delighted with his new fit and thanked the adults of the family for decking him out in green and brown.
Once the birthday boy appeared into the room with his gifted clothes Byrhtnoth couldn't help himself and heavily doted on his grandson. He fixed some creases on Bercthun's jumpsuit and then surprised him by pinching his cheek and shaking it gently left to right.
"Goodness, you're a handsome young lad now!" he exclaimed but Bercthun didn't seem to be quite impressed by this gesture. He tried to pull away politely and his grandfather let him go all the while chortling at his reaction.
Between the many childish discussions and recollections of moments from Bercthun's toddler days Marissa couldn't help but wistfully stare off into the distance and drift away from conversations at the table. She had been eating less during her grieving of her late daughter but still eating nevertheless; it was difficult to stomach the fact that one of her children is no longer in the land of the living.
The moments when her grief truly subsided was when she put her mind into strategy at the domino table, playing against her eldest son and eldest man in the home. Little Lady often slept either under the table near their feet or off to the side while they indulged in a game or two, it was the perfect moment for her to nap before guarding her territory once again.
Not a month after the family celebrated another birthday yet again, this time without cake but with a handful of presents. Brismar had become a full year old and received several carved wooden dolls and horses to play alongside his brothers at the tudor dollhouse. He appeared to have several similar facial features to his mother and his black hair grew wildly in all directions the older he got.
Brismar was still too young to join his older brothers in the farmhouse so he continued to sleep in the timber home alongside his mother just in a different crib to where he slept just a month ago. He technically had his own room now but merely a semi-sheer linen curtain separated him from Marissa. This did not stop her from visiting him late at night when he was not sleeping and it kept her feelings of sorrow at bay.
In an attempt to aid his mother during her grieving period Kristoffer decided to become fully responsible for many of the animals in the home. He often fed the chickens in the morning, brushed Lady after a dusty day and treated the horses to a carrot or apple when the adults would allow him so.
The year concluded once more, a highly wetter and damper winter this time around, and Marissa stood by the windows in the evenings as she cuddled Brismar in her arms. She adored his natural scent, an indescribable mix of fresh lemon balm and cured fur, inhaling deeply whenever he nuzzled into her neck and shoulder.
It would be a treat for them both when they would stand near that window and a burst of rain fell from the skies and against the roof and mud outside. The gentle pitter patter always put Brismar right to sleep and made Marissa's eyes heavy also. Once he grew limp in her arms she lay him gently in his crib and dragged her feet to her own bed, listening closely as she drifted into the peaceful land of slumber.
December was the best she had slept all that year, whether it was the emotional draining from grief or simply because the rain hit their thatched roof slightly differently, she welcomed it regardless of the meaning behind it all.
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