1324 - Wanting What You Cannot Have
The frosty air whistled through the front door and nipped at Osuald's toes as he rose from his bed. He glanced across his room and through the archway where Lavina slept, huddled under the many blankets she had over her small frame. He noted to let his father know that the winds have gotten stronger and it was time to board up the window frames once again to stay safe and warm for the next coming months.
Osuald had learned a new skill this winter: cooking. Although it was customary for his future wife to be the primary cook for the family Byrhtnoth still encouraged his son to at least know the basics... Watcher forbid he finds himself a widower one day just like his father. The young lad was confident with his porridge making, so much so that it became a routine for him to make a hearty portion for himself and his family every morning while the snow stuck to the ground.
It was a delight for Byrhtnoth, the homey scent of warm milk wafting up to his room every morning he awoke and by the time he found himself downstairs Osuald was energised and out feeding the farm animals. He was filling his father with pride with every responsibility he committed to without a reminder; he was truly shaping up to be a smart and handy young man.
There were few chores to do during the snowy months and so the Chapmans took advantage of their free time to spend time together. Lavina was to celebrate her tenth birthday in a few months and was clinging to the last moments of childhood while she still could. The rocking horse became one of her favourite toys this season alongside the tudor style doll house.
Her imagination was reaching an all time high as she played with the handcrafted dolls in the wooden home. She whispered to herself tales and names that she absorbed during her visits to the markets across Praaven and brought life to folks she might have only met once. And with that her imagination conjured more stories of what could be waiting for her up the ladder beside Osuald's bed with no answers just yet...
The winter may have presented thick with snow but it was quick to melt away once the clouds gave way and the shining sun warmed the hills of Praaven. One morning the tax collector came around to collect their tithe and with it presented them a message of invitation to the Chapmans. King Sidgurd invited the family to visit the keep now that the weather was more adequate for travel and share a meal together.
The very next day Osuald saddled up Beauty and Gloria for their journey to the keep while Byrhtnoth prepared his quarterly parcel of produce to deliver to the royal family. He strapped this package to Gloria's saddle as Lavina was to ride with him on Beauty. Osuald helped his sister up onto the saddle, sitting just behind Byrhtnoth, and then mounted his own horse too.
Their journey to the keep was pleasant and smooth, a light rush of cold air patting their faces as they rode past various farmlands and through the thick stone walls that surrounded the city. They dismounted and tied up their steeds right outside the large front doors and were given permission to enter by the castle guards.
As soon as they stepped inside a pretty feline emerged from behind the grandiose pillars of the entrance hall. It meowed and rubbed its small curled ears against Lavina's skirt and she aww-ed with joy, gliding her hand against the cat's smooth fur. Once their presence was made known the King made an entrance.
He greeted each member of the Chapman family with a firm handshake and guided the lot through to the dining hall. The tables had been neatly arranged for a dinner and there were still some servants completing some last minute preparations with the cutlery. The children's mouths were agape as they arched their heads to inspect every carved detail in the castle's walls before being alerted by their father that they were being rude.
"Is this all that will be arriving tonight?" asked King Sidgurd as he glanced behind them.
Byrhtnoth grew a confused expression and glanced at his two children, "Yes, er... is there someone else you were expecting?"
"Linyeve..." reminded the King, Byrhtnoth laughed anxiously.
"Oh! She doesn't live in our home anymore once she was married off... I-I didn't even think of extending the invitation to her-"
"That is not a problem at all, my mistake," said the King as he shook his head. "If that's all of you then I'd like you to meet my family!"
The Chapmans were introduced to Lady Magda, which they had met once before, and also Queen Dowager Mary-Anne. Byrhtnoth bowed to the best of his polite abilities, his children attempting to follow suit, and he was excused from these pleasantries.
"Please, we are all friends and family here," explained the King. Soon after Frank made an appearance with Shavonne by his side and baby Shad in his arms. The conversations reverberated across the grey walls and they all shared tales while they waited for the dinner to be served.
Shavonne plastered on a smile and stood face to face with Lavina, presenting a friendly greeting to her family member. They shook hands and found it easier to find something to talk about once they were in a more comfortable space rather than being outdoors. They were only a year apart from one another and found that they shared many similar interests even if they were currently from different economic backgrounds.
One conversation led to another and the men were reminiscing about how small their children used to be. Lady Magda found it the perfect time to introduce Byrhtnoth to the future successor to the Praaven throne, baby Edwardo. King Sidgurd held his son in his arms and let his friend tickle and gaze fondly over the little boy. Edwardo clung onto Byrhtnoth's finger tightly and they joked about how strong and mighty he would grow up to be.
As Osuald spoke to the Queen Dowager, trying to stay aware of how to present to such a high and noble woman, a servant rushed over to report a water pipe leaking in the servants quarters. Osuald immediately offered to check in on the problem and see if he could fix it. He was more versed in wood repairs but surely pipes wouldn't be any more difficult?
It turned out to be a joint that came loose over time and he patched it on up well with only some minor spillage from the pipes on the floor. The Queen Dowager was ever thankful and alerted her servants to make sure Osuald gets a hefty portion of meat tonight!
Just before the food was served Byrhtnoth reminded himself to hand over the produce parcel to the King. King Sidgurd praised him for his efforts and care as always and soon they were seated for their meal.
Byrhtnoth had eaten in the midst of King Sidgurd's company almost a decade back now but not to this extent! Dishes kept being delivered one after another stacked with aromatic vegetables and salted meats. Everything was piping hot and letting off swirling steam before their very eyes. The King encouraged them to take their fill and so they did.
It was even more flavourful than before. Osuald had to stop himself from drooling all over his plate during his meal as he had never eaten something so decadent and filling in his life. Lavina grew full too quick but was allowed a break from her food before digging in once again. Byrhtnoth was eternally grateful to the King for being so accommodating to his family for all of these years and raised his goblet of ale to drink to King Sidgurd's health to which they all answered "hear, hear!"
Before they knew it the plates were empty and their bellies felt like they could burst. King Sidgurd glanced outside and noticed how dark it had gotten and spoke to Byrhtnoth,
"No, no, I cannot have you and your children venturing home at such a dark hour!" He clapped his hands to one of the guards and ordered him, "Bring the Chapman horses into the stables downstairs and make sure they are given their dinner. The Chapmans will sleep in the guest's quarters tonight."
Byrhtnoth stood up from his seat and bowed respectfully, "I appreciate your concern, my liege, but we are not the right folk to stay overnight in your home."
"Bah, nonsense!" waved King Sidgurd as if swatting away Byrhtnoth's comment. "We are friends and family here, make yourself comfortable in the guest room, you all deserve a bountiful rest instead of trudging through the midnight muck." Byrhtnoth sat down and smiled at his children who sat next to him.
The conversations were dwindling and yawns were presented at the dinner table and so the Chapmans were led to the guest's quarters. They were offered a bath by the servants and although he denied their offer they insisted on warming up the water anyway. They stepped into the forest green room and were gobsmacked by the decor. A four post bed carved from a luscious and polished pine stood against one wall while two twin beds stood across from it. The bedding was a gorgeous display of royal patterns made from various shades of green and felt brilliantly made to the touch. A fireplace was in the process of being lit by one of the castle's hands and would keep them warm tonight. And most of all the ceilings were the highest they had ever seen a bedroom have in their lives.
After their respective baths they found themselves settling into their beds. They didn't think of bringing any spare clothing and so they all slept in their undergarments that they travelled in. As they threw back the bedsheets and sat comfortably on the feather packed mattresses Lavina asked,
"Father, why don't we get to live like this?" Byrhtnoth sighed,
"You must have lots and lots of money to find yourself with furniture like this... and generations worth of money at that."
Lavina glanced at her brother... could he someday be worth this much? Or would it be possible for her future husband to be rich and lush like this? She glanced around more time, admiring each display of wealth in the room, and decided she preferred her simple yet comforting look of her bed at home instead of the one she lay in. But she couldn't deny, it felt like she slept on a cloud that night...
Yet even with his assurance came a surprise into his life: Linyeve had another baby girl! When August came to deliver the news once more he stuttered out a congratulations... he couldn't even remember if they had told him about Linyeve's third pregnancy and he felt a twinge of guilt for it. He promised to visit their farm soon to meet another grandchild.
CW: infant death, mourning.
But he was little too late. He mounted Beauty one sunny June morning and made his way to the Dodson home. As he tied up his horse he heard some wailing coming from the home and his heart sank to his stomach; the voice that cried out sounded too much like Linyeve. He urgently knocked on the door and there was a moment of silence before August presented himself, a concerned and pitiful look on his face.
Linyeve sat inside, clutching at her baby daughter. Her little arms flopped around lifeless as the young mother rocked her in grief. Byrhtnoth cowered down next to his daughter and felt the cold skin of his granddaughter. The parents explained to him that they had just found her motionless in her little crib, unsure of what could have happened for her to meet her demise. They ruled it out as a cot death as the mystery of her passing would never be solved. Her name would have been April, for the month that she was born in.
CW over.
Yet with death comes life and it was time to celebrate Lavina's tenth birthday! The Chapmans invited a handful of guests days prior and hoped that they would see friends young and old at the party. The first to arrive was Catherine, Frank's mother and the one who lived closest to their home.
She reminisced with Byrhtnoth and informed him that her husband and priest of the Lughaven church, Father Bruceus, had been taken by The Watcher. He expressed his condolences to her but she looked as if she was at peace with his passing yet she was now all alone in that cottage, with Frank's new life inside the keep. Byrhtnoth kept that in mind and made a note to himself to try and visit his lonely friend.
Next to arrive was Osuald's potential future courting, Marissa. Byrhtnoth had extended an invitation to her and described it as a perfect chance for her to meet his son. She had arrived with another boy, only a year older than Osuald, and his name was Arron. The red haired boy made no excuses for his presence, just describing himself as Marissa's "bodyguard" recruited by Marissa's mother. He had a protective quality about him and he grilled Osuald with various personal questions.
King Sidgurd and his lady arrived next and Byrhtnoth was pleased to see them. The Queen Dowager was also in their presence and excused Frank's absence as he had to stay and mind the young tots back at the castle. Poor Catherine looked disappointed to not see her son that day and even muttered to Byrhtnoth in private about how she's sure they had plenty of servants to look after their children.
Linyeve and August arrived last with only baby February in company. As the other guests gushed over the little girl in August's arms Byrhtnoth found this to be the perfect opportunity to see how his daughter was doing after the loss of their second child.
Linyeve instantly broke down once she saw her father's face. Tears shot down her face like rockets and she tried to wipe them away in an instant but was unsuccessful. Her father enveloped her and whispered comforting words into her hair before pulling away and looking deep into her eyes as he said,
"You are a wonderful mother, don't ever forget it. There will be all sorts of losses through life but just promise me you won't ever blame yourself for it." Linyeve nodded as she sniffled and got herself together for her sister's celebration.
And now it was time to blow out the candles! Lavina stepped up to the traditional honey cake on the table and her father lit the tall beeswax candles that decorated the surface of the delicacy. The guests all gathered and cheered her on. She felt warm and loved by the many familiar faces around her and conjured up a hopeful wish in her mind before exhaling and extinguishing the little flames.
She turned to look at them all, an array of emotions flooding through them. Her father stood clapping with a soft smile of pride, Marissa stood and cheered with her arms in the air, while Linyeve cried through her smiles. All eyes were on her and Lavina felt a wave of shyness strike her and she looked at the floor.
She asked her father for the cake knife and cut everyone a generous slice of her birthday cake. She handed them out one by one and thanked each guest for finding time to celebrate her tenth year of life with her today. She was met with smiles from everyone but one person...
As she sat down Arron seemed to be unhappy with something and muttered under his breath. He quickly grew irate as she noticed him pointing in her direction with his voice growing louder as he spoke to Marissa. The young girl quickly shushed him and threw a pleading smile towards Lavina who just shook off the encounter and enjoyed her cake.
After the cake was eaten Byrhtnoth presented his daughter with fresh clothes as a gift and another gift that surprised his daughter. He handed her a small wooden box that contained various natural paints and told her that she had permission to go upstairs to the uninhabited bedroom in their home. She felt a buzz of excitement in her chest as she began to fantasise about what she would paint on the easel upstairs!
Amongst the hubbub happening in the kitchen Osuald realised he hadn't properly spoke to Marissa yet, he was so occupied by Arron's questions that he had only greeted her and that was that. He approached her and got to properly study her youthful face as he shook her hand in greeting.
Her fiery hair lay straight against her richly green dress with some strands tucked behind her small ears. Her ever-so-slightly tanned cheeks creased as she smiled at Osuald, her hazel eyes sparkling with excitement at their meeting. She was breathtaking and Osuald stumbled over his introduction because of it.
"S-sorry, I had something stuck in my throat," he excused himself as he coughed to the side.
"Don't worry about it," said Marissa softly, her voice sounded just like how a warm lapping stream on a hot day for Osuald, pleasant and refreshing. "Your father has told me so much about you, it's great to finally put a face to your name!"
"He's done the same about you," he chuckled nervously. "You're far prettier than I had imagined... I... well, I haven't met many girls your age but you're honestly breathtaking." Marissa giggled.
"I'm honoured to be your first then! So tell me, what's it like living on a farm?"
"Oh, don't you?" asked Osuald.
"I live inside the city walls. I've barely even stepped outside of those walls so this is all new to me." Marissa shrugged but Osuald got straight into describing how wonderful and peaceful life is on their farmstead and how he can never imagine living inside the city. She pondered for a moment how it must be and agreed that it must be very peaceful.
Osuald quietly prayed that it wasn't just him experiencing an instant attraction as he felt his heart race with every word he shared with this young girl. He grew excited for their relationship to become a budding romance soon enough but his fantasies were quickly shattered when Arron interrupted to let Marissa know that they have to travel back home.
"Oh, really? Well... it was a pleasure to finally meet, Osuald. I hope to see you soon!" Osuald gave her a bit of a dorky smile but shook her hand once more and saw her off.
As the guests began to trickle off Frank had arrived in a carriage to collect the royals. Byrhtnoth felt a bit of pity for him for Catherine had just left thirty minutes before his arrival but nonetheless invited him in for some cake. They all shared some chats together and Lavina spoke with Shavonne as she had accompanied her father on the journey to their farm.
They all said their farewells once the plates were empty and the sun began to set. The brother and sister helped their father clean the place up and thanked him for a social evening. They all settled into their beds but Lavina was still buzzing with energy and snuck off to the easel upstairs to test out the paints her father had gifted her. Manipulating paint with a brush was a challenge for Lavina but she grew excited each time her canvas looked more like what she imagined.
In the depths of summer the sun produced a heat like no other. Osuald had never sweat this much while tending to the crops in all of his life and felt a little awkward from the stains on his clothes. Baths became a regular occurrence, as regular as a bath could be in 1324, and they all scrubbed themselves hard after a day on the field.
But their summer days never stopped there as Byrhtnoth often took his son fishing to various destinations across Praaven while Lavina stayed home and baked, painted or finished her various chores. She was becoming the sole caretaker of the horses as she brushed and fed them in between the men of the house riding them across Praaven.
One fine day during August the boys found themselves by the seaside as they cast their lures to fish. The Praaven walls stood high and mighty next to them and Osuald kept craning his neck to admire the craftsmanship and the sheer size of them before getting distracted by a fish that nibbled on his line.
"How are you keeping my boy?" suddenly asked Byrhtnoth.
"Oh, umm... okay? Why are you asking, father?" said Osuald as he questioned his father.
"I can just tell when a boy's mind is focusing on a girl. Have you been thinking of Marissa much recently?"
Caught red handed, Byrhtnoth was right. Ever since their first meet Osuald has had his mind dancing with thoughts of Marissa. She was still so mysterious and beautiful and he just wanted to know more about her. But he felt embarrassed to confess to his father so he just answered,
"N-no, I mean, yes! Well, I only met her once, father... I would like to see her again."
"We could try and find her in her home in Praaven? You can have a talk with her while I sell some of our fish that we catch today?" Osuald nodded to his father's proposal and tried to stifle and hide his giddy smile the best he could.
The sky grew into beautiful shades of yellow and orange as their day whittled away and all sorts of discussions were had between the father and son. Talks of work and fishing were the main discussions but occasionally they would share deeper chats such as talking about Linyeve's child who had recently passed and Byrhtnoth would try his best to make their discussions a lesson for his son.
Just as they were packing their things away for the day Osuald bent down to pack his bag and noticed a tuft of daisies growing through the sandy ground. He decided to pick them in the hopes of gifting them to Marissa if they met inside the city walls.
It was to their delight that she was spending some time at the Praaven town square just as they tied their horses up at a post closest to the fishmongers. Byrhtnoth gave his son the permission to speak with his love interest and he would handle some financial affairs. Osuald took a deep breath and began to walk in Marissa's direction.
They exchanged their pleasantries and both expressed their surprise to see one another at the town square. Osuald felt his cheeks blush a little after hearing that Marissa was happy to see him again and before he forgot he pulled out his little bundle of daisies that he wrapped in some parchment.
"These flowers are for me?!" Marissa exclaimed with delight. "How did you know that daisies were my favourite?"
"Um... lucky guess, really!" spoke Osuald honestly. Marissa accepted them and gently stroked the petals with her slender fingers.
"Oh, Osuald. You're such a fine gentleman!" As she said it she flung her arms around Osuald who raised his eyebrows with surprise. He didn't shy away from this sign of affection and met her with a tight hug. They proceeded to discuss all matters ranging from the weather to what their parents were saying as she shared her latest conversation with her mother,
"She has been really putting pressure on me to find a suitor soon but I keep telling her that I am only twelve years old! Only kings and queens marry this early, can't I just live at home for a few more years?"
"That's definitely quite young," nodded Osuald, "surely she would want you to spend some time in a courtship before marriage?"
"I think she just wants to be rid of me..." she said with her head hanging low. "She has expressed many times how cramped it is at home with my many siblings... but it wasn't my fault that she had so many children!"
In an attempt to raise her spirits Osuald leaned in and jokingly whispered, "Well, if you ever get sick of her we will always have our doors open for you if you run away!" Marissa's eyes grew wide before she guffawed and gently pushed Osuald.
"Hey! I could get in serious trouble for that, and you would too!"
"It was only a suggestion! The decision is all yours, anyway." They giggled at this scenario but both shared an inkling of hope that it would come true someday. Regardless, their time was interrupted as Byrhtnoth finished up at the fishmonger and he met with his son and Marissa,
"It's fantastic to see you again, Marissa. You are growing to be a beautiful young lady!"
"I thank you for your compliments," she gently bowed in thanks. "Perhaps we can walk and talk as we make it back to my home? It is getting awfully dark."
"It would be our pleasure, wouldn't it Osuald?" asked Byrhtnoth and his son nodded with enthusiasm. They untied Gloria and Beauty and walked the cobbled path back to Marissa's home. The two Chapman boys were delighted to learn more about her, how she has ten siblings of all ages and she isn't even the oldest, how her mother is pushing her to marry and how strict she can be at times.
Byrhtnoth thought of asking for an invitation to speak to her mother but the commotion that could be heard through the front door stopped him from even getting close to asking. They bid one another farewell and ventured on home. Back at their farmhouse Lavina had just finished cooking up a hearty dinner of vegetable and venison stew and she was learning to cook very quickly and very well!
Before they knew it the frost began to settle in and the harvest was ripe for the picking. They all spent their time on their respective responsibilities on the farm, with Byrhtnoth selling their produce at the various markets across the land, Osuald fishing and maintaining their horses and Lavina washing their clothes from their labours and keeping the home spick and span.
Byrhtnoth began to tell his children that he was noticing that it might be Greyson's last year of life as he was getting very old and to prepare their goodbyes to the trusty steed but to adore him until his very last days. Lavina put her care and attention in pampering the horse that was ages older than her and grew close to him.
The men of the house did as much fishing as they could before the weather would trap them at home once again over the winter and one November evening Byrhtnoth decided to treat his son to his first ever ale at the Mahlsberg tavern. He had become such a hardworking boy and his father only felt it right to reward him with a taste of adulthood.
On their horse ride there they spot a familiar red haired lady walking alone. They slowed their speed to a gentle trot and greeted the girl who turned out to be Marissa. She was telling them that she was meant to meet her family at the tavern for an important discussion but she had been early so she was happy to spend time with them two.
Once inside Byrhtnoth went to order them a pitcher of ale to share between the lot of them and Osuald and Marissa began to chat one another up. They were catching up on how one another were since they last saw one another which felt like an eternity.
Marissa shared that her mother was still heavily adamant on having her married off by next year and that she wasn't exactly happy with this treatment but just had to suck it up. "I bet mother will have me marry some older man, she just wants me to get out of the house and get a pretty dowry for herself." She scoffed as she said it and Osuald pouted for her.
"Could my father ask for you to... marry me?" The question came out far more blunt than he had anticipated and before he could correct himself Marissa shrugged and began,
"God I wish it were that easy," she spoke solemnly, "My mother has such specific standards I bet she will wish for me to marry some lord as we live inside the city."
They both hovered on this dreary silence and Osuald wanted to say a million different things, starting with how much he loved her, but nothing would come out. Finally Marissa broke the silence,
"Goodness, look at me spill my heart out onto you. I apologise, I shouldn't be this down about things... tell me something fun that has happened with you recently."
And with perfect timing Byrhtnoth came back with the ale. They found a table to sit at and he poured the frothy liquid into wooden tankards. He asked the young guest what she was meeting with her family about and she only told some minor details about it,
"He's mentioned something about it but... aren't you still too young for this?"
"Yes... yes I am." She sighed a defeated sigh. "It doesn't matter to my mother for I am a woman, as she would put it." She didn't need to define it any further, Byrhtnoth understood what that meant yet Osuald was still a little clueless. It was common for girls to be considered women after their first bleed but to be raring to sell them off into marriage felt a little cruel, but who was Byrhtnoth to judge?
"I'm sorry for your predicament, Marissa," spoke Byrhtnoth eventually. "Osuald would be highly interested to be in a courtship with you and I would love to have the honour of speaking to your parents about arranging this but..." His voice trailed off, ready to say what Marissa had already told Osuald just minutes before. She just pursed her lips into an awkward smile and gave a small nod.
"I'll mention it to them but please, Osuald, don't get your hopes up."
Osuald didn't know what to say, his heart felt crushed yet it still had a beat of hope. It felt unlikely that he would spend his life with Marissa yet it seemed that she would love to be betrothed to him. But then a thought occurred... what if she only wanted to marry him if it was the best escape for her out of her mother's crazy arranged marriage? He prayed it wasn't the case, he really found her an attractive person inside and out, but his spirit felt trampled.
Marissa began to excuse herself and explained that she worried her family will arrive and disapprove of her encounter with the Chapman boys and so they decided to bid their farewells. She offered Osuald a hug, much like the one they shared at the town square, and Osuald gripped onto her dress tight.
He knew it was likely that he wouldn't see her during the winter but a flicker of fear sparked in his chest that he would never see her ever again, that her mother wouldn't listen and just marry her off to someone foreign and this would be the last time he ever saw her. His heart ached and so he held her tight for what felt like eternity but it was only a handful of seconds. Her sweet floral smell lingered in his mind as he pulled away and tried to brave through his melancholic emotions and give her a memorable smile.
They saddled on up and waved Marissa goodbye one last time before riding off into the frosty dusk. The snow circled around them and melted quickly on their faces, red from the cold. Osuald couldn't hold back his feelings anymore and let out a tear as he rode home, masking it as a thick snowflake that melted down his cheek.
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